In today’s fast-paced world, we’re often told that the perfect relationship is just around the corner. But what if I told you that the secret to a lasting relationship isn’t about finding the perfect partner, but preparing yourself for the relationship before it even begins?
And to be clear: This isn’t about playing mind games or setting unrealistic expectations. It’s about getting real with yourself and future-proofing your love life. Research has time and again shown that it’s about what is built together in the relationship- not compatibility- that plays a key role.
Here’s how you can start to save your relationship before you’re even in one. And if you are already in one- the same applies so read on!
WANT TO SAVE A RELATIONSHIP? EXPECT CHALLENGES
First off, let’s bust a myth: “Happily ever after” isn’t a given. It’s not a negative outlook but a realistic one. Every couple faces challenges, and that’s okay. What matters is how you deal with them, or specifically- how YOU want respond to them.
Imagine going into a relationship knowing that obstacles will pop up. There’s a sense of keeping things real, grounded and not floating off into imaginary myths of could and should be’s. It’s not about being defensive either- as so many people do in relationships.
So the trick is to not to worry over the potential challenges but acknowledging that they’re part of the journey. This mindset helps you appreciate the good times even more and equips you to handle the tough ones with flexibility and grace.
Doing this means you need to develop the skill and strategy set to be able to deal with your mind wanting to solve all your problems- mostly in the unhelpful way our minds do! So working on this skillset is THE KEY to being able to navigate the challenges.
KNOW YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER
Here’s something a lot of us miss: understanding ourselves and our partners as individuals. Before diving into a relationship, ask yourself who you are, what you need, and what you can offer. It’s not just about ticking boxes or fitting into someone else’s life seamlessly. It’s about recognizing your own growth and changes over time.
When you see your partner as a separate person with their own needs and dreams, your approach to the relationship shifts. You become more curious about them, more respectful of their individuality, and more interested in how you can grow together. Agreeing on core values like curiosity, intentionality, and teamwork can lay a strong foundation for your relationship.
Bottom line: it’s about how you want to BE in a relationship- NOT what you want to GET from it.
THE PATH TO GROWTH
Remember, the goal isn’t to avoid conflict or change but to embrace them as opportunities for growth. When issues arise, they’re often a mirror reflecting back our own insecurities or areas for personal development. Instead of seeing them as roadblocks, view them as opportunities to deepen your understanding of yourself and your partner.
This approach doesn’t mean tolerating bad behavior. It’s about recognizing that growth often comes from facing challenges together and learning from them. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by this concept, don’t worry. It takes time to grasp fully. But if any part of this resonates with you, pay attention to that feeling. It might just be the key to building a relationship that not only lasts but thrives!
FINAL THOUGHTS
Saving your relationship before it begins isn’t about preparing for doom and gloom. It’s about entering into a partnership with open eyes and a willingness to grow, both individually and together.
By expecting challenges, knowing yourself and your partner, and seeing every obstacle as an opportunity for growth, you’re not just saving your relationship—you’re setting it up for a lifetime of love and understanding.
Want to get started laying good foundations for a future relationship or enhancing your current one? Use the button below to book your free discovery call to find out more!
