Listen: Feeling Overwhelmed? When Everything Feels Like Too Much
These days you just have to jump on any social media platform or watch TV to be bombarded with bad news. There’s a new existential threat every day it seems. It’s almost like you need to curate your online experience just to get some peace—hiding posts, deleting apps, anything to escape the stress.
Then there’s the cost of living, unemployment, a messed-up dating scene, and all those everyday annoyances that never quite go away. It’s like pushing a boulder to the top of a mountain, only to watch it roll back down once you are near the top so you have to start all over again.
So it’s no surprise that so many of us feel overwhelmed. “Overwhelmed” might not even capture the sheer weight of everything we face.
It can feel relentless—like there’s no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel, and nothing worth doing. People are giving up on things that matter, living lives that feel flat and disconnected. Some have said it’s like you’re just going through the motions.
So, why are so many of us feeling like this? Where does this sense of overwhelm come from?
Why We Feel Overwhelmed
First up, what exactly is being overwhelmed? Put simply, it’s the feeling of being mentally or emotionally overloaded by too many demands, challenges, or responsibilities, often leading to a sense of helplessness or inability to cope. It happens when the pressures you’re facing exceed your capacity to handle them effectively, especially when much of it feels beyond your control.
Feeling overwhelmed can show up in many different forms, from being stuck in life, paralysis in decision making, helplessness and hopelessness, confusion, trouble concentrating, and even physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, dizziness and many more.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, it isn’t a flaw in your character and you aren’t broken or defective. It’s a perfectly normal response to stressors and living in a world that throws challenges at you constantly—especially ones that are out of your control.
Our modern way of living doesn’t help.
Think about it: everything from big government systems to tech innovations is designed to handle life for us. This sounds great in theory, right? But it can leave us feeling like we have less control of our lives in the long run. Whether it’s algorithms deciding what we see online, social norms pressuring us to live a certain way, or institutions with experts telling you how to live your life, we’re left with less and less agency.
Governments, institutions, and even tech are quick to swoop in and make decisions for us. And while some of these systems are meant to help, they can leave us feeling passive—like we’re spectators in our own lives.
And let’s not leave out the struggles like cost of living, dating and relationships, and all the other things out there! It’s a lot!
When so much is beyond our control, it’s only natural that the feeling of overwhelm kicks in.
So if overwhelm is from a lack of control of the demands and stressors of our lives, then what’s the solution? After all, it’s not like we haven’t tried, right? It’s likely you would have tried to problem solve all the stuff dumped on your lap in some way.
What are we supposed to do?
A Counterintuitive Approach to Feeling Overwhelmed
Most of us assume that to stop feeling overwhelmed, we need to reduce the number of things we’re dealing with—cut back, simplify, and clear our plates. Makes sense, right? And while this might give some temporary relief, it doesn’t actually address the core issue.
Here’s where a counterintuitive concept comes in—and stick with me, it’ll make sense as we dive in.
Here it is; the real key to managing overwhelm lies in understanding the difference between ACTIVE and PASSIVE challenges.
Passive challenges are the things life throws at you without asking—unexpected bills, work stress, global news, or that endless stream of more. These are the things you didn’t choose, and the more passive challenges you’re facing, the more powerless and stuck you feel.
Active challenges, however, are different. These are the challenges you consciously choose to take on. Whether it’s setting a new goal, starting a project or hobby, or even just carving out time for self-care, active challenges give you a sense of control. They remind you that you can still steer your life, even if everything else feels out of your hands.
So here’s the counterintuitive part: the solution isn’t to eliminate challenges—it’s to shift the balance in favor of active challenges. It may sound strange, but intentionally taking on meaningful, active challenges can help you feel more in control. You’d think that adding more challenges would increase those feelings of overwhelm, but it actually does the opposite.
When you’re the one making the choices, you get a sense of being in charge of steering the ship so to speak, rather than being a passenger along for the ride.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, the best thing you can do might be to take on something you care about—something you can actively manage. Whether it’s learning a new skill, setting a personal goal, or taking small steps toward something that matters to you, shifting from passive to active challenges makes all the difference. And there’s tons of evidence to support this concept in fields like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and behavioural activation.
Now one barrier that might come up to doing this is your mind. It might say things like ‘this won’t work’ or ‘I can’t do it’. This is totally normal and natural for your mind to do, it’s just doing its job by trying to keep you safe from more overwhelm!
Read More: Why Are Our Minds So Negative?
This is one area we really shine with Mental Health Coaching. We help you learn skills and strategies that work and help you act even when your mind isn’t being helpful!
One simple thing you can do, and try this out as an experiment, is see what happens when you notice your thoughts and feelings and name them as they occur. Do this without judgement, really seeing if you can tap into a sense of curiosity when you try it.
An example could be when your mind says something like, ‘this won’t work’, is to just say to yourself ‘I’m noticing the thought of; this won’t work’. Try it out and see what happens when you do this for a minute or two. What do you notice?
There are so many more skills and strategies that can make a massive difference, but this is beyond the scope of a simple blog post. But just starting out with the simple exercise of noticing and naming, along with planning any active challenges you can manage, no matter how small, can help you make the pivot from overwhelm to managing, and eventually maybe even flourishing despite the challenges.
Wrapping It Up
Feeling overwhelmed is normal, especially today when life feels like it’s moving faster than ever and more is out of our control. But overwhelm doesn’t have to define you or your life. By learning how to manage your mind and shift the balance toward active challenges, you can start to feel more in control and less like you’re drowning.
If this resonates with you, and you’re ready to get more active in how you deal with life’s challenges, we can work together to make that shift. Whether it’s feeling more engaged with your day-to-day life or simply getting back to a place of balance, it starts with taking control of what you can. Making a better life, no matter what is happening out there, starts with making that first step and reaching out.
